Dear Leader

Silly Kim Jung Il, the North Korean dictator, has struck again. I've heard of several totally outlandish stories about his feats of great dictatorshipness, and a new one just surfaced: the North Korean soccer coach for the World Cup just told ESPN in an interview that his Dear Leader "gives regular tactical advice during matches using mobile phones that are not visible to the naked eye," and Kim Jung Il developed the technology himself. Wow, an invisible phone!

Other dubious claims the North Koreans have about their leader:

• He does not urinate or defecate. Apparently the textbooks in North Korea say that when Kim Jung Il was born, the sky was spontaneously covered in rainbows and that he transcends the need to go potty. Hmmm. Well this one is assuming there are textbooks which is doubtful since I've heard people eat tree bark to survive starvation, so why wouldn't they eat the paper too?
• He's a big movie fan and once had a famous South Korean director and actress kidnapped and held against their will until they made another movie.
• He shot 38 under par in a round of golf, complete with 11 holes in one! This supposedly happened in 1994 on Pyongyang's only course, and his bodyguards swear by it....

Another crazy NoKo story related to the World Cup. It's being reported here in South Korea that North Korea hired 1,000 Chinese actors and performers to cheer on the NoKo team at the World Cup. I don't know whey they would hire the Chinese when there are so many starving laborers in their country, except that maybe they worry that any North Koreans would defect if they left the country. Craziness.